It was during a really great evening with a couple new friends that I received some valuable advice. Words I’d heard in different ways and different times, but sometimes, it takes that one person to make things click.

Here’s the advice: Stop paying your kids way. Healthcare, essentials, sports, sure. But life lessons? Things that will make or break them as adults? Stop. Why? Well, that’s obvious…. but let’s just put it out there… so they can function as adults when the time comes. Build them up, raise them strong.


I realize as a mother what I’ve done wrong, and what I’ve done right. In my willingness and desire to help, I’ve at times caused some large setbacks with my kids. I would look back on my childhood as an example of what to do or not do. Sometimes, that was a great compass. Other times, not so much.

For those of you struggling with life lessons, then heed this advice: your children must pay for things that will teach them lessons. Let that be your guide, your moral compass. Regardless of how uncomfortable it makes you feel as a parent; still your hand and heart when it comes to their survival and strength as an adult. Build them up. Raise them Strong.

Yes, it’s frustrating that this generation can’t read cursive (eye roll), or read the face of a standard clock (I know, I was floored as well). What’s more vital is that they know how to fend for themselves and thrive as adults. I see many friends struggling with this part. We have a generation of very entitled kids, and we are quick to blame the school system or this “Millennial” time period. And really, what’s changed is us. We are soft on our kids. We give them oodles of time, help, talking, explaining, trying to teach them in a way we weren’t… with patience, guidance, leniency, choices. How many times did our parents (the baby boomers) hold our hands? Not a lot I bet, and certainly not close to what we’ve done for our kids.

So, no more handouts. They must figure this out for themselves. Life is hard; if we make it softer for them, how the hell will they survive when times get even tougher??

Build them up. Raise them strong.